by Katie Harding on June 1, 2018

In this social media driven society, are we as leaders always to share everything with everybody? Is Reality TV the lay of the land or are we to have filters for authenticity, vulnerability and transparency?

In answering questions like these, there is one source that can give us much greater insight than Google, and his name is Jesus. While on earth, Jesus not only came to restore our relationship with God, but to model life for us here in God’s kingdom.

In looking at Jesus’ life and reviewing the short, yet impactful, story of the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46), I believe we can find answers to the questions above.

In this passage, we see three distinct groups Jesus directly related to: his outer circle (a group of twelve), his inner circle (a group of three) and his audience of One (his relationship with the Father).

To his outer circle, Jesus told them, “Stay here while I pray.” He was open and honest about his actions and intentions. He told them about the bread and wine representing his body and blood, and he shared about the hard days ahead. He was being authentic, especially about his need to pray in that moment. Authenticity is being real and true to who we are with everyone. God doesn’t want us to speak lies, but he doesn’t want us to live them either. Being authentic is living and leading from our true self, not our false self.  It’s not being who others think we are but living true to who we really are at our core.

As Jesus walked on further, he invited his inner circle to make this journey with him. He began to share his deep feelings of anxiety and distress. He told them about the sorrow and grief that was encircling his soul and feeling crushed from the thought of his bleak days ahead. He was being vulnerable, very vulnerable. Vulnerability is being completely honest with others and being able to share our deep feelings and struggles without fear of condemnation or retribution. Our circle of vulnerability is usually comprised of those who will speak truth to us in love.

After Jesus asked his inner circle to keep watch and wait with him, he leaned in to converse with his audience of One, our heavenly Father. He stretched out in front of Him in prayer and spoke his deepest thoughts, “Is there any way this fate can pass from me?” In this intimate time of communion, he was free to question. Free to doubt. Free to express fear for what lay ahead. Free to be transparent. In a transparent relationship, there is nothing hidden that remains hidden. We are free to put everything on the table. Things we are willing to face and tough things we’d rather forget. Like the relationship Jesus had with the Father, our transparent relationship is where we find our greatest source of strength. We can share everything with Him, knowing we are totally and completely loved, trusting that God always has our best interest at heart. “Not my will, but yours.”

Sometimes as leaders, we can cause more damage than good by sharing everything with everybody. As we come to understand the difference between authenticity, vulnerability and transparency, we can better discern what is appropriate to post on social media or discuss with others. I have often used these words synonymously in the past, but as I reread the passage about Jesus’ final hours in the garden, I now realize how important it is to understand the difference. We are to be authentic with all, vulnerable with a few and totally transparent with the One.