by Katie Harding on July 27, 2018

I wish I could tell you that I have degrees from Harvard and initials after my name and that my insight comes from the academic world and years of study. But I can’t. Instead, what I can tell you is that every day for almost twenty years I have sat at the feet of the most humble individual ever to walk the face of the earth, listening, learning and leaning in to gain further insight.

I have sat with Jesus…

In December of 2000, everything in my spiritual journey began to change. My mother died. Praying over her body in the casket was the first time I really saw the separation of the physical body and the spirit. I realized that which made her laugh and love was no longer present. It was her spirit, I determined, that made her who she was. Not until years later did I gain a more complete understanding of that moment.

Shortly thereafter, I returned to the dental field to help a colleague manage his practice. Months later I was still grieving and feeling tired. Tired from striving for success and tired from managing a staff of women who were often at odds with one another. But as I drove home from the office one night, I reached the end of myself. I descended the exit ramp from the toll road as I did each evening, and suddenly I heard myself saying, “Father, I am burned out and broken. I am tired of having to plan everything myself and tired of manipulating others to get things done.”

In that moment, I surrendered. Everything. It was the last five percent I had clung to for so many years that I was finally willing to let go of. Like so many others, I was fearful of giving up total control, but I felt done, so I continued: “Whatever You want me to do, I will do. Wherever You want me to go, I will go.” After which I added the following caveat: “However, if You want me to go to ‘Africa,’ You tell Mike (my husband).” I figured I didn’t want to be the one to break that kind of news to him.

I had been a Christian for 29 years, but being a Christian doesn’t make one a disciple. One professes a belief and the other lives out a way of life. It’s like the difference between being religious versus being in relationship. As a Christian, I was faithfully religious—in church on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, Saturday mornings and any other time that required attendance for the most current activity. But when I came home, my Bible was placed on the banister, only to be picked up again the next time I headed for the church building and another churchy event. There was a real disconnect between knowing about Jesus and knowing Jesus.

From that night on the toll road forward, I started pursuing a relationship with the One I had professed to love for so long. The following morning, I got up early to pray, but it didn’t work out so well. Having a teenager in the house and being up late made it difficult to stay awake as I began my prayers. The next morning, I decided to try praying with my eyes open. Again, another failed attempt. I was totally distracted by the things out of place in our living room and kitchen. So on the third morning, I decided to write out my prayers. The more I wrote, the more I listened. The more I listened, the more I heard. The more I heard, the more I wrote. I was on my way to developing an intimate relationship with the Greatest Influencer the world has ever known.

It changed my life and has left me astounded. Not primarily by what I have learned, but what I realized I never knew or understood. I have heard much truth, had even more questions and been convicted in so many ways that I no longer recognize myself as the woman I once was.

The One who was just my Savior became my Lord that night on the exit ramp, and there was no turning back. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to be His disciple and follow Him. To learn His ways, glean His truths and just sit in His presence. It was peace-giving and life-sustaining.

Though God didn’t call us to Africa, life didn’t get easier as I got to know Jesus more. In fact, just the opposite. I encountered serious health issues and our marriage hit incredible difficulties that almost destroyed it. But being in relationship with Jesus every day gave me the strength to persevere and allow Him to work in the midst of significant pain.

What I discovered was being a disciple of Jesus—having a day-to-day relationship and learning from Him—reframed everything about life. It changed my attitudes, actions and behavioral patterns. It changed my personality, pride and timidity. And most of all, it changed my choices and desires, because it changed me. He changed me. And He still changes me today as He continually awakens my heart to greater understanding of His Word.

Growing up in the church, many Christians say they have never experienced life transformation in the same way others do who come to faith as adults. But I believe becoming a disciple of Jesus is transformative for everyone. It changes you from the inside out as you grow in an ever-deepening relationship with Him.

If you haven’t surrendered the last five percent, I invite you to do so today and become an all-in disciple of Jesus. It will change your life. Every moment. Every day. #SurrenderTheLastFive

by Katie Harding on June 1, 2018

In this social media driven society, are we as leaders always to share everything with everybody? Is Reality TV the lay of the land or are we to have filters for authenticity, vulnerability and transparency?

In answering questions like these, there is one source that can give us much greater insight than Google, and his name is Jesus. While on earth, Jesus not only came to restore our relationship with God, but to model life for us here in God’s kingdom.

In looking at Jesus’ life and reviewing the short, yet impactful, story of the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46), I believe we can find answers to the questions above.

In this passage, we see three distinct groups Jesus directly related to: his outer circle (a group of twelve), his inner circle (a group of three) and his audience of One (his relationship with the Father).

To his outer circle, Jesus told them, “Stay here while I pray.” He was open and honest about his actions and intentions. He told them about the bread and wine representing his body and blood, and he shared about the hard days ahead. He was being authentic, especially about his need to pray in that moment. Authenticity is being real and true to who we are with everyone. God doesn’t want us to speak lies, but he doesn’t want us to live them either. Being authentic is living and leading from our true self, not our false self.  It’s not being who others think we are but living true to who we really are at our core.

As Jesus walked on further, he invited his inner circle to make this journey with him. He began to share his deep feelings of anxiety and distress. He told them about the sorrow and grief that was encircling his soul and feeling crushed from the thought of his bleak days ahead. He was being vulnerable, very vulnerable. Vulnerability is being completely honest with others and being able to share our deep feelings and struggles without fear of condemnation or retribution. Our circle of vulnerability is usually comprised of those who will speak truth to us in love.

After Jesus asked his inner circle to keep watch and wait with him, he leaned in to converse with his audience of One, our heavenly Father. He stretched out in front of Him in prayer and spoke his deepest thoughts, “Is there any way this fate can pass from me?” In this intimate time of communion, he was free to question. Free to doubt. Free to express fear for what lay ahead. Free to be transparent. In a transparent relationship, there is nothing hidden that remains hidden. We are free to put everything on the table. Things we are willing to face and tough things we’d rather forget. Like the relationship Jesus had with the Father, our transparent relationship is where we find our greatest source of strength. We can share everything with Him, knowing we are totally and completely loved, trusting that God always has our best interest at heart. “Not my will, but yours.”

Sometimes as leaders, we can cause more damage than good by sharing everything with everybody. As we come to understand the difference between authenticity, vulnerability and transparency, we can better discern what is appropriate to post on social media or discuss with others. I have often used these words synonymously in the past, but as I reread the passage about Jesus’ final hours in the garden, I now realize how important it is to understand the difference. We are to be authentic with all, vulnerable with a few and totally transparent with the One.