Leader's Journal
Tags: "Fear"
This is not the blog I intended to post this week, but after our Zoom call on Thursday with Richard Blackaby, co-author of Experiencing God, my thoughts changed. Richard encouraged us to see where God is already working and join Him there. With that insight in mind, I felt compelled to write a new blog and share what the Lord has recently shown me.
For years I thought that when God told Moses He wanted to send him back to Egypt, the fear he exhibited was about going before Pharaoh to seek the release of God’s people. But as I have continued my study of Moses and have camped out in the third and fourth chapters of Exodus, I’ve come to realize it wasn’t Pharaoh who gave Moses such fright. It was the Sons of Israel, the elders. He desperately wanted their approval and was afraid of their opinions. “What if they ask me Your name?” “What if they won’t believe me?” “What if they won’t listen to what I say?” He knew he had encountered God, but what if they didn’t believe it? He had such fear of failing. Fear was a primary cause of his struggle with God. Or so I thought.
Increasingly, I began to wonder, “What caused Moses to change from a timid shepherd to a confident leader?” “When did this change occur?” “How did he move from someone who was ignored by the Israelites to one being greatly esteemed?”
It always amazes me when we have questions on our heart, how God will often use others to convey the answers. Two separate conversations I had this week confirmed this truth. God was moving in our midst, weaving several thoughts together.
In talking with a friend, she told me about a book she’s been reading, The Relational Soul, by Richard Plass and James Cofield, and what she’s learned about trust. Basically, if parents are not emotionally available, children learn to not trust others. If parents are not emotionally reliable, children learn to not trust themselves, and it leaves them striving for the approval of others and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. And if parents are not emotionally available or reliable, children are considered “scattered,” as they trust neither themselves or others.
Later I spoke with our daughter who is a therapist and shared how the above information is reflected in my life as I too have struggled with “approval idolatry,” as Pastor Tim Keller calls it. Then I told her about trying to determine the significance of Moses interceding for Pharaoh in Exodus 8. It was after that incident that his life began to change, and I couldn’t figure out why. My daughter stated the answer so matter-of-factly that I almost missed it. “Mom, that’s because Moses realized he could begin to trust God when he prayed and God answered.”
In that moment, I realized what was really at the root of Moses’ struggle. It wasn’t fear; it was a level deeper than fear. It was a lack of trust, both in himself and in others. Moses was so scattered. He didn’t trust himself, which left him desiring the approval of others and being defined by their opinions. And he didn’t trust God, His promise to be with him and His ability to speak through him. Moses’ lack of trust affected his identity, who he was and how he saw himself.
As Moses entreated Pharaoh, he exercised his trust in God, and his trust muscle began to grow. He cried out to the Lord with a need and the Lord responded. Later again in chapters 8, 9 and 10, Moses made supplications and the Lord moved according to his requests, and his trust continued to expand. Isn’t that the same way our trust muscle begins to take shape as well? We pray, asking the Lord for a need, and as we see Him answer, our trust begins to build.
I remember the first time I started to use my trust muscle. I was only five years old and the doll I had just received for Christmas suddenly stopped walking. Instead of taking her to my parents, maybe because we were poor and batteries couldn’t be easily replaced, I took her to God. I remember getting out my rosary (we were Catholic at the time) and saying my Hail Marys as I cried out to the Lord. After praying for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, I stood my doll on the floor, flipped the switch and she walked. My trust in God as a provider was born.
In the Amplified version of John 6:29, Jesus says that the work God asks of us is to “believe in the One Whom He has sent.” Believe, in the Greek, translates to trust, have faith in. As my dad always said, “Belief is an action verb.” Action is how most of the muscles in our body grow, and so it is the same with our trust muscle. The more action Moses took, the more his trust in God grew, both in His availability and reliability. Soon we see Moses living as the faith-filled leader he was meant to be.
Seeing the change that happened in Moses’ life, as he went from hiding in the desert in fear to becoming a mighty leader in the wilderness, is more than inspiring. And it’s all because he started trusting God. It makes me wonder, how deeply do I really trust and leads me to pray, “Lord, help me to trust you completely, just like Moses.”
I don’t know why the Lord gave me this understanding for this week, but I have to believe it’s for “such a time as this.” May it inspire you to reflect on the strength of your own trust muscle.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
Many blessings,
Katie
Years ago, as we were launching NorthStar Women’s Network, I felt overwhelmed and under equipped. Someone suggested I start praying on my armor each day. So, I did. And as time went on, I encouraged others to do likewise.
But now, 17 years later, I am done with that. I'm not advising women to pray on their armor anymore. Why is that? Because recently while rereading Ephesians 6, I was convicted by the Spirit that I had been advising women incorrectly. I realized there isn’t anywhere in Paul’s letter where he says we need to pray on our armor for daily protection. Instead, Paul advises us to “put on the full armor of God.” It’s God’s armor we are praying on, not ours. What a difference changing one word makes. It’s huge.
Our armor – our thoughts, our truth, our faith – has no power against the enemy. If it did, Adam and Eve would have remained in the garden. Everything we do, we do through the One who gives us strength. His strength. His power. His armor.
But in the end, does it really matter what we call it? Yes, it does. Because when we call it what it is, it reframes our perspective and gives us greater insight into Paul’s instructions.
Beginning with the understanding that the Holy Spirit is actually dwelling within us (given to us at the time of our profession of belief in Jesus Christ), we can see why Paul is telling us to be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might. If the Holy Spirit is indwelling, and He is, and if Christ is manifested through the Spirit and abides within us, which He does, then praying on God’s armor has little to do with us, but everything to do with Jesus. It is always about Jesus.
With that in mind, when we are praying on God’s armor, we pray on:
His Truth – It’s the truth according to what Christ lives and teaches, understanding things from His vantage point as He dwells within. The enemy wants to make us think truth is relative, believing all kinds of lies about ourselves and others, but Jesus has said He is Truth. Truth is not relative as the world states, Jesus is the plumb line. The belt of the armor is meant to hold in proper place those things that could easily trip us up. So it is with Truth.
His Righteousness - We have been made righteous—restored to a right relationship with God the Father through Christ the Son. Once Jesus begins to indwell our life, God no longer sees our sin. Our sins have been replaced by Christ’s righteousness. However, the enemy would like us to think otherwise, to believe we are still sinners deep in sin who can’t measure up in God’s presence. That’s why the Breastplate of Righteousness is so important— to protect our hearts from feeling unworthy or shame from the enemy’s constant attempts at condemnation.
His Peace - We often think this piece of the armor is all about the shoes of peace, but Paul says it’s actually the preparation of the shoes of peace. So how do we prepare to walk in peace? We do it the same way Jesus does as He lives and dwells within. The same way He did it when He walked the earth, by abiding in the Father’s presence. And the peace that protects is not our peace, but the actual peace of Jesus. Jesus told us, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.” We can move forward without fear, resting in His peace.
His Faith - It would be great to think our faith is strong enough to stop the “fiery darts of temptation” aimed at us by Satan, but it isn’t. If it were, Adam and Eve would not have failed in the garden, but the saving faith that can protect us from ALL of Satan’s lies is the faith of Jesus. In a more accurate translation of Galatians 2:20, Paul tells us “The life we now live in the flesh, we live by the faith of the Son of God,” instead of faith in the Son of God. Somewhere over the years the word was changed from “of” to “in.” I am not sure why as it totally distorts the meaning. When we are clear about the fact the Holy Spirit indwells us and Christ is manifested through the Spirit, it’s easy to understand the Shield of Faith is about submitting to Christ’s faith as He dwells within.
His Salvation - Jesus came, died and rose again as the Savior of the world, to deliver us from the consequences of sin. He set us free from the penalty of sin; we are forgiven. He set us free from the power of sin; we are restored to a relationship with God the Father. And He set us free from the presence of sin; we are cleansed through the presence of His Spirit who dwells within. Our sins are forgiven and our guilt is removed. In the Greek, the word for salvation also means deliverer. As we pray on the Helmet of Salvation, the helmet of our deliverer, let us guard our thoughts and guide them with the knowledge and truth of His salvation.
His Sword - I love the translation of this in The Amplified version, “The sword the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.” The Spirit doesn’t speak on His own initiative, as Jesus tells us in John 16. But He discloses to us what is spoken to Him by God the Father and Christ the Son, so we can thwart the enemy’s attempt the same way Jesus did in the wilderness, by repeating God’s truth, “The Scriptures say....” The Sword is the only offensive piece of the armor; let’s remember to draw it often to stop Satan’s attacks and destroy his plans.
If you don’t already do so, I want to encourage you to pray on God’s armor every day, for yourself, for your family and even for your brothers and sisters in Christ. Over the past 17 years, as I prayed for “the power of God’s armor” to be upon those on my list, I have seen lives changed. “Therefore, take up the full armor of God that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm” Ephesians 6:13 (emphasis added).
Many blessings,
Katie
Everywhere I turn I am hearing it. From online Bible studies to recorded sermons to parents with good intentions, people are saying, “Do not fear.” In this time of overwhelming disaster of global proportions, Christians are stating, “Fear not.” This phrase is then usually followed by the thought that as believers we shouldn’t be anxious or fearful because we trust in Jesus.
When we say to others they should not fear, we are saying there’s a right way to feel, and fear is not it. We are conveying that what you are feeling is wrong. And what we are often implying, without realizing, is if you are feeling fear, you are not being strong in your faith.
I think it’s well intentioned, but this can leave others not only trying to overcome fear, but now guilt as well.
I am a Christian leader, and I have felt fear. Not because I don’t have a strong faith in God or a deep-seated belief in the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, but because I do – to both. I have felt fear because our world is in chaos right now as this global pandemic is taking lives at such a rapid pace. So rapid in fact, that New York City had to bring in trailers at one point to hold the deceased.
I have felt fear because our son-in-law is a doctor who was testing on the front lines in Chicago and our daughter, his wife, is asthmatic and has had pneumonia twice. I have felt fear because our grandson is on a nebulizer treatment (which started before the pandemic). I have felt fear because our son lives with an immune deficiency. And I have felt fear from seeing people dying alone in hospitals without their loved ones nearby. What a tragic ending for so many families. Yes, I am a church leader, and I have felt fear.
Mostly, I have allowed myself to feel fear because Jesus showed me it’s okay to feel fear. We often forget that Jesus was FULLY human, as well as fully God, so as death drew near, he too felt afraid. On the night he was betrayed, he went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray because of his fear. He told his friends he was deeply grieved over what was coming, the known and the unknown. Then he asked the Father if it was possible to let this cup pass from him.
One of the most beautiful aspects about Jesus, described by Peter, is the fact that Jesus had no deceit found in his mouth. Some might say it meant he didn’t lie or tell an untruth, but I would also add that he didn’t feel an untruth. What he said he felt, and what he felt he said. He lived an authentic life with a singleness of heart; there wasn’t a division between what he felt and what he spoke. He shared honestly and openly, and because he was distressed over his upcoming death, he said so. He not only felt his feelings, but he expressed them as well.
It is right to express our feelings, not only feelings of love and joy, but also feelings of fear.
So, what can we say when others are feeling fearful? We can let them know their fear can be normal. We can assure them that even Jesus felt fear. We can pray with them, drawing them into the Father’s presence, and most of all, we can encourage them to take their feelings directly to the Father.
Contrary to the thoughts of many, it is actually by acknowledging our true feelings with the Lord, including our fears, that our faith goes deep and gives way to trust. We see this modeled time and time again by David throughout his psalms, and we see this in the conversation Jesus had with the Father in the garden.
Sharing our honest feelings with the Father invites Him into our struggles and opens our heart to hear His truth. He doesn’t tell us we shouldn’t fear because of our trust in Him. He shares His truth why we don’t have to fear. It’s the same reason He gave others throughout the scriptures. We don’t have to fear because He is near. It isn’t about our faith, but God’s faithfulness. He reassures us He is with us. Emmanuel.
Expressing our fear to the Lord doesn’t necessarily change the circumstance, but it can shift our paradigm to a place of peace. I have experienced this in my own life, and we see this in the stance Jesus took in the garden. He went from asking the Father to let the cup pass to surrendering to the Father’s will. He was able to say, “Thy will be done,” all because he acknowledged his fear. May we encourage others to be like Jesus and do likewise.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear” Ps 46:1-2a.
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.
Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful" John 14:27 (NASB).
My Peace
In the midst of this crisis,
Jesus, I look to Thee,
I close my eyes gently
In search of Your peace.
Don’t be troubled,
And don’t be afraid,
As I sit in stillness
I hear you say.
My peace is who I am,
My peace is what I give.
Abide with me,
Experience My peace.
Breathe in truth,
Breathe out doubt.
Breathe in trust,
Breathe out fear.
Feel the calming presence
Of My Spirit in your life.
It is My peace
I give to you.
© 2020 Katie Harding All Rights Reserved
This poem was inspired by Matthew's story of Jesus Walking on the Water and
a comment speaker and author Jo Saxton made on a podcast,
"When Peter got out of the boat, he was actually standing on the Word of Jesus."
It was written during this season of COVID-19.
One Word
In the fourth watch of the night
When darkness distorts our thoughts
And the waves make our footing
Seem so unsure,
We don’t even recognize Jesus when He comes near.
Then He speaks,
As the wind circles about our boat.
Reassuring us of His presence
And bringing calm to our fears.
His one Word
Propels us to movement.
His one Word
Gives us boldness in each step.
May we not be distracted by the wind.
May we not be overwhelmed by the waves.
May we find courage to stand strong
As we hear His one Word.
Yet, when our perspective
Gets distorted again
And we feel fear closing in once more,
Let us cry out in faith as Peter did.
“Lord, save me!”
One Word from Jesus,
That’s all we need.
One Word to stand.
One Word to step forward.
One Word gives us great courage
in these turbulent times.
One Word from Jesus,
“Come.”
© 2020 Katie Harding All Rights Reserved
Katie serves as the Founder/Director of NorthStar Women's Network and Associate Director of NorthStar Church Network.
This morning my mind is still fixed on a question my small group asked last week. “Doesn’t the word immediately contradict the phrase fighting hurry?” I had just told our group about a podcast series I’ve been listening to called “Fight Hustle, End Hurry” and shared that I also recently discovered in the first chapter of Mark, he uses the word immediately ten times. I love questions that make you pause for thought. After thinking on this, I realize it doesn’t contradict it at all.
Immediately is actually a key word that can unlock one of the main reasons why we hurry. We hurry because we don’t have enough time. And usually we don’t have enough time because we didn’t do something we needed to do when we needed to do it. We procrastinated. Most people who procrastinate are very busy people. We are just busy with the wrong stuff.
Instead of immediately doing what really needs to be done when it needs to be done, we focus our attention on tasks of lower priority, using them as escapist behaviors. Then when it almost becomes too late to accomplish those things which are most important, we hurry to complete them, often rushing around like crazy people. (And making the people around us crazy as well!)
I have discovered one of the main underlying reasons for procrastination is fear. Not the kind of fear you experience when there is physical danger; that is a healthy fear your mind initiates to keep you safe.
The fear I’m referring to is that of getting it wrong or not doing it perfectly the first time. Or the fear of failing and the embarrassment that accompanies it. Perhaps there is even fear of succeeding and not knowing what to do next. Fear of criticism, often from myself or others. Fear of rejection, of not living up to expectations—both mine and from others. And then there is the fear of the unknown. It can stall us every time. There are so many different ways fear can be a motivator to our actions or inaction. Fear is a small word, but it can have a big impact.
It would be great if we could say, “Just don’t procrastinate.” But it’s not that easy. Not only because it could mean we have to stop and acknowledge the fear, which often takes time and the help of others, but it’s actually hard to break the behavior of procrastination because we are accustomed to the hurry. Our bodies begin to crave the “rush” we get from the rush. We are addicted to hurry.
There are groups to help with most addictions, and there is probably one for those addicted to hurry. If there isn’t, maybe there should be. But in lieu of going to a group or starting one, I have found Mark’s word immediately to be most beneficial.
I have discovered the word immediately actually displaces the fear. It doesn’t necessarily get rid of it, but it renders it ineffective. It takes the fear captive by giving me something else to focus on. When I reflect on the word immediately, it prompts me not to put off, but to step into action — to begin to develop a life of responsive obedience. It makes me stop and ask the Lord, “What really needs to be done right now?” and then practice submitting as the Spirit redirects my thoughts to that which is most important and of highest priority. Immediately is a word God uses to reorder our steps. Now. Not two days or two hours from now, but now.
When we respond immediately to that which is of highest priority, it starts to eliminate procrastination, hurry and rushing in our lives. Soon our rhythm begins to change as we experience the peace of this new pace, and our bodies start rejecting hurry instead of craving it. Before long, we begin to feel very uncomfortable with the thought of hurry and at odds with the stress it causes and the physical ailments that ensue.
Without even realizing it has happened, we have experienced a paradigm shift called transformation. By refocusing our thoughts and responding to the Spirit’s promptings, not only have our actions changed but our desires as well. We have moved from procrastination to peace, from chaos to calm, all because of one word, God’s word - Immediately.
Katie Harding serves as the Founder/Director of NorthStar Women's Network and as Associate Director of NorthStar Church Network.