Leader's Journal
Tags: "Faith"
Building Trust

This is not the blog I intended to post this week, but after our Zoom call on Thursday with Richard Blackaby, co-author of Experiencing God, my thoughts changed. Richard encouraged us to see where God is already working and join Him there. With that insight in mind, I felt compelled to write a new blog and share what the Lord has recently shown me.
For years I thought that when God told Moses He wanted to send him back to Egypt, the fear he exhibited was about going before Pharaoh to seek the release of God’s people. But as I have continued my study of Moses and have camped out in the third and fourth chapters of Exodus, I’ve come to realize it wasn’t Pharaoh who gave Moses such fright. It was the Sons of Israel, the elders. He desperately wanted their approval and was afraid of their opinions. “What if they ask me Your name?” “What if they won’t believe me?” “What if they won’t listen to what I say?” He knew he had encountered God, but what if they didn’t believe it? He had such fear of failing. Fear was a primary cause of his struggle with God. Or so I thought.
Increasingly, I began to wonder, “What caused Moses to change from a timid shepherd to a confident leader?” “When did this change occur?” “How did he move from someone who was ignored by the Israelites to one being greatly esteemed?”
It always amazes me when we have questions on our heart, how God will often use others to convey the answers. Two separate conversations I had this week confirmed this truth. God was moving in our midst, weaving several thoughts together.
In talking with a friend, she told me about a book she’s been reading, The Relational Soul, by Richard Plass and James Cofield, and what she’s learned about trust. Basically, if parents are not emotionally available, children learn to not trust others. If parents are not emotionally reliable, children learn to not trust themselves, and it leaves them striving for the approval of others and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. And if parents are not emotionally available or reliable, children are considered “scattered,” as they trust neither themselves or others.
Later I spoke with our daughter who is a therapist and shared how the above information is reflected in my life as I too have struggled with “approval idolatry,” as Pastor Tim Keller calls it. Then I told her about trying to determine the significance of Moses interceding for Pharaoh in Exodus 8. It was after that incident that his life began to change, and I couldn’t figure out why. My daughter stated the answer so matter-of-factly that I almost missed it. “Mom, that’s because Moses realized he could begin to trust God when he prayed and God answered.”
In that moment, I realized what was really at the root of Moses’ struggle. It wasn’t fear; it was a level deeper than fear. It was a lack of trust, both in himself and in others. Moses was so scattered. He didn’t trust himself, which left him desiring the approval of others and being defined by their opinions. And he didn’t trust God, His promise to be with him and His ability to speak through him. Moses’ lack of trust affected his identity, who he was and how he saw himself.
As Moses entreated Pharaoh, he exercised his trust in God, and his trust muscle began to grow. He cried out to the Lord with a need and the Lord responded. Later again in chapters 8, 9 and 10, Moses made supplications and the Lord moved according to his requests, and his trust continued to expand. Isn’t that the same way our trust muscle begins to take shape as well? We pray, asking the Lord for a need, and as we see Him answer, our trust begins to build.
I remember the first time I started to use my trust muscle. I was only five years old and the doll I had just received for Christmas suddenly stopped walking. Instead of taking her to my parents, maybe because we were poor and batteries couldn’t be easily replaced, I took her to God. I remember getting out my rosary (we were Catholic at the time) and saying my Hail Marys as I cried out to the Lord. After praying for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, I stood my doll on the floor, flipped the switch and she walked. My trust in God as a provider was born.
In the Amplified version of John 6:29, Jesus says that the work God asks of us is to “believe in the One Whom He has sent.” Believe, in the Greek, translates to trust, have faith in. As my dad always said, “Belief is an action verb.” Action is how most of the muscles in our body grow, and so it is the same with our trust muscle. The more action Moses took, the more his trust in God grew, both in His availability and reliability. Soon we see Moses living as the faith-filled leader he was meant to be.
Seeing the change that happened in Moses’ life, as he went from hiding in the desert in fear to becoming a mighty leader in the wilderness, is more than inspiring. And it’s all because he started trusting God. It makes me wonder, how deeply do I really trust and leads me to pray, “Lord, help me to trust you completely, just like Moses.”
I don’t know why the Lord gave me this understanding for this week, but I have to believe it’s for “such a time as this.” May it inspire you to reflect on the strength of your own trust muscle.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
Many blessings,
Katie
Not Mine, But His

Years ago, as we were launching NorthStar Women’s Network, I felt overwhelmed and under equipped. Someone suggested I start praying on my armor each day. So, I did. And as time went on, I encouraged others to do likewise.
But now, 17 years later, I am done with that. I'm not advising women to pray on their armor anymore. Why is that? Because recently while rereading Ephesians 6, I was convicted by the Spirit that I had been advising women incorrectly. I realized there isn’t anywhere in Paul’s letter where he says we need to pray on our armor for daily protection. Instead, Paul advises us to “put on the full armor of God.” It’s God’s armor we are praying on, not ours. What a difference changing one word makes. It’s huge.
Our armor – our thoughts, our truth, our faith – has no power against the enemy. If it did, Adam and Eve would have remained in the garden. Everything we do, we do through the One who gives us strength. His strength. His power. His armor.
But in the end, does it really matter what we call it? Yes, it does. Because when we call it what it is, it reframes our perspective and gives us greater insight into Paul’s instructions.
Beginning with the understanding that the Holy Spirit is actually dwelling within us (given to us at the time of our profession of belief in Jesus Christ), we can see why Paul is telling us to be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might. If the Holy Spirit is indwelling, and He is, and if Christ is manifested through the Spirit and abides within us, which He does, then praying on God’s armor has little to do with us, but everything to do with Jesus. It is always about Jesus.
With that in mind, when we are praying on God’s armor, we pray on:
His Truth – It’s the truth according to what Christ lives and teaches, understanding things from His vantage point as He dwells within. The enemy wants to make us think truth is relative, believing all kinds of lies about ourselves and others, but Jesus has said He is Truth. Truth is not relative as the world states, Jesus is the plumb line. The belt of the armor is meant to hold in proper place those things that could easily trip us up. So it is with Truth.
His Righteousness - We have been made righteous—restored to a right relationship with God the Father through Christ the Son. Once Jesus begins to indwell our life, God no longer sees our sin. Our sins have been replaced by Christ’s righteousness. However, the enemy would like us to think otherwise, to believe we are still sinners deep in sin who can’t measure up in God’s presence. That’s why the Breastplate of Righteousness is so important— to protect our hearts from feeling unworthy or shame from the enemy’s constant attempts at condemnation.
His Peace - We often think this piece of the armor is all about the shoes of peace, but Paul says it’s actually the preparation of the shoes of peace. So how do we prepare to walk in peace? We do it the same way Jesus does as He lives and dwells within. The same way He did it when He walked the earth, by abiding in the Father’s presence. And the peace that protects is not our peace, but the actual peace of Jesus. Jesus told us, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.” We can move forward without fear, resting in His peace.
His Faith - It would be great to think our faith is strong enough to stop the “fiery darts of temptation” aimed at us by Satan, but it isn’t. If it were, Adam and Eve would not have failed in the garden, but the saving faith that can protect us from ALL of Satan’s lies is the faith of Jesus. In a more accurate translation of Galatians 2:20, Paul tells us “The life we now live in the flesh, we live by the faith of the Son of God,” instead of faith in the Son of God. Somewhere over the years the word was changed from “of” to “in.” I am not sure why as it totally distorts the meaning. When we are clear about the fact the Holy Spirit indwells us and Christ is manifested through the Spirit, it’s easy to understand the Shield of Faith is about submitting to Christ’s faith as He dwells within.
His Salvation - Jesus came, died and rose again as the Savior of the world, to deliver us from the consequences of sin. He set us free from the penalty of sin; we are forgiven. He set us free from the power of sin; we are restored to a relationship with God the Father. And He set us free from the presence of sin; we are cleansed through the presence of His Spirit who dwells within. Our sins are forgiven and our guilt is removed. In the Greek, the word for salvation also means deliverer. As we pray on the Helmet of Salvation, the helmet of our deliverer, let us guard our thoughts and guide them with the knowledge and truth of His salvation.
His Sword - I love the translation of this in The Amplified version, “The sword the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.” The Spirit doesn’t speak on His own initiative, as Jesus tells us in John 16. But He discloses to us what is spoken to Him by God the Father and Christ the Son, so we can thwart the enemy’s attempt the same way Jesus did in the wilderness, by repeating God’s truth, “The Scriptures say....” The Sword is the only offensive piece of the armor; let’s remember to draw it often to stop Satan’s attacks and destroy his plans.
If you don’t already do so, I want to encourage you to pray on God’s armor every day, for yourself, for your family and even for your brothers and sisters in Christ. Over the past 17 years, as I prayed for “the power of God’s armor” to be upon those on my list, I have seen lives changed. “Therefore, take up the full armor of God that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm” Ephesians 6:13 (emphasis added).
Many blessings,
Katie